On March 2, 2017, the Tyson & Mendes’ Women’s Initiative held an engaging and thought-provoking event entitled, “The Confident Woman: Living a Better Balanced and Healthier Life.”  At this event, co-sponsored with the Lawyer’s Club of San Diego and San Diego Association of Corporate Counsel, Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz discussed ideas from her book The Confident Woman and the impact of societal pressures on women’s confidence and health.  Ms. Hansen Shaevitz provided valuable insight, helpful advice, and useful suggestions for dealing with these pressures in our everyday lives as legal and insurance professionals.

The solution-oriented seminar identified practical ways women can lead more confident lives.  Ms. Hansen Shaevitz shared with the audience that confident women “know who they are.”  As she explains in her book:

[Confident women] have a strong sense of what they like, what they want, what they like to do, and what makes their lives rich and full. . . . But confident women are not reckless with their time or energy; they carefully choose [how and] with whom they spend their precious time.

Less and More

Ms. Hansen Shaevitz first asked the audience to identify the things they wanted less and more of, in both their personal and professional lives.  The audience provided the following responses:

Professional Life – More:

• Security
• A Voice
• Joy
• Money
• Vacation
• Happy Environment
• Women in Leadership
• Expertise
• Time
• Stability
• Connections

Professional Life – Less

• Stress
• Conflict
• Deadlines
• Guilt
• To-Do Lists
• Pressure
• Emails
• Politics
• Micromanagement

Personal Life – More

• Self Care
• Creative Time
• Time with Spouse
• Time with Children
• Time to Workout
• “Me” Time

Personal Life – Less

• Saying “Yes”
• Worries
• “Admin” Time
• Missing Out

Based on these lists, Ms. Hansen Shaevitz reinforced the importance of taking better care of oneself.  Practicing self-care allows women to be better professionals, better mothers, better spouses, and happier and healthier overall.

Should You Say “Yes?”

As part of the discussion, Ms. Hansen Shaevitz also provided a useful tip for prioritizing how to spend free time.  She posed a formula the audience can use for determining a response when an opportunity or an invitation arises.  It involves asking two questions, then answering them by assigning them a number on a scale from 1 to 10 (1=no way; 10=absolutely yes).

Two Questions to Know Whether to Say Yes or No

Question 1: How much do I want to do this?

(Rate the activity or event from 1 to 10.)

Score: _______

Question 2: Given everything else that is going on in my life, how important is it that I do this?

(Rate the importance or event from 1 to 10.

Score: _______

Ms. Hansen Shaevitz suggested if the sum of the scores from the two questions is 13 or less, do not do it.  If the sum is 14 or more, then do it and enjoy yourself!

Bringing More Joy To Life

The group also discussed specific people, places, things, and activities that bring joy to our lives and make us feel confident.  By identifying one’s priorities and creating the space for these priorities, professional women take a step towards self-care, better health, and more confidence.  The group discussed the following ways to practice self-care:

• Outsourcing work to be done around the house
  • Shopping online through Amazon
  • Joining a meal delivery company such as Blue Apron
  • Purchasing housecleaning services
  • Surrounding yourself with your favorite things
  • Meditation
  • Exercise
  • Walking the dog
  • Ordering desert
  • Visiting your mother
  • Wine tasting
  • Reading
  • Monthly “girls’ night” happy hour
  • Visiting local tourist spots and observing the beauty around us

Practicing self-care begets confidence, which is the foundation for a thriving professional and personal life.  Audience members left the seminar with concrete ways to live a better balanced and healthier life with confidence.  Tyson & Mendes Women’s Initiative thanks our co-sponsors, Lawyer’s Club of San Diego and San Diego Association of Corporate Counsel, for their support of this program.

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